A cock-y story

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Written on 4:38 PM by isko b. doo

I grew up around chickens. I don't mean the cowards, I'm referring to Col. Sanders' favorite pet, the one with feathers and go clucking at the first sign of trouble.

My father was a hobbyist breeder and very passionate about roosters, so much that he refused to eat any of the chicken that we brought home from cockfights (hey, each battle has its spoils, some get women or gold but we got dressed and muscled cocks instead). Since my father's fighting cocks were quite good, every Sunday was a feast since we always get Tinolang manok for dinner aside from the two liters of Coke. Growing up poor, those things were a luxury.

Mornings and afternoons were torture. I was assigned the task of feeding the cocks and the hens at 7 a.m. and 4 p.m. on the dot. Failure to do so earned me a licking. All the cocks insisted on being the top dog of the coop and fight whoever (dog, cat, me) entered that godforsaken, turd-infested (they're not called fowl for nothing) box. The hostility magnified during breeding period when the cock was all juiced up from pent-up horniness, like the Tasmanian Devil on crack, and any shin or leg was fair game.

And man, you couldn't believe how some cocks got Kung Fu down pat. If you were lucky, you get only a few welts or scratches but there were cases when my leg was pockmarked by sharp talons and beaks. Though we weren't really told to not kick or pummel them to death, it was common understanding that a boy always runs away when confronted by a cock. That maxim holds true on both literal and figurative sense. Unless the boy likes cocks and that's just gay.

As a kid, I did my assignment begrudgingly. I wasn't passionate about chickens. In fact, I thought the only thing they were good for was when they were covered in barbeque sauce. But when I discovered gambling, cockfighting opened a whole new world for me. Good thing my father was such a sport about his sons gambling. My father was never a heavy gambler. I think he gets more kick of his cocks winning only because it's a testament to his methods; just like how gambling was a testament to my madness.

It took me years to rid that vice but last New Year's Day, I went to my first cockfight in years. All the usual suspects were there, the Kristos, bookies, wasted bums, liquors, the adrenaline rush, and even the enterprising man who rents out the metal spurs (also called gaffes or tari in visayan) for a few pesos, and it's like I never left. It's amazing how they put up the cockpit that fast when it was just a few months back when authorities raided the placed and booked a few gamblers.

My father brought along one gamecock. So in keeping with the new year, I wagered P500. I thought that was just enough to scratch a nagging itch but not too much to nag at my conscience for falling off the wagon. As luck would have it, the fight was a draw. I wouldn't have mind losing the money, anything but a draw. I got my P500 back but I was still pissed off. When I handed that money to my father, I already written that off as a lost asset since I learned a long time ago that adopting that mindset helped take the sting off losing. To scratch another itch, the P500 never had a chance. We spent it all on food.

Getting in Touch

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Written on 3:45 PM by isko b. doo

I was scouring the Net for the ideal digital SLR for me after saving up for what seemed like forever on my meager salary (that means skipping dinner and lunch or relying on good Samaritans to feed me).

And so it happens when you're Googling, you get ping-ponged to different pages and I stumbled upon this site (www.shopwiki.com) which promises to be the biggest platform for linking sellers with online shoppers. How does it work? Think Google for shopaholics. It doesn't take rocket science to understand the first page since every product is categorized for easy browsing. Perfect for the older set who are easily intimidated by complicated layouts and voluminous ads.

The site features easy-to-read guidelines (http://www.shopwiki.com/wiki/Digital+Cameras) for those who are seriously considering to purchase a product but is tied down on budget constraints; for added measure, products are rated according to popularity, reliability, efficiency, and value.


Each product also comes with a review and comment from previous shoppers and owners which greatly helps in making that big jump. Take me for example, I've always been partial to Nikon because I just love it's sleek black look. Although it would be impractical because only Canon has a service center here in Davao City, so if my new Nikon camera acts up, I would have to send it to Manila for repairs. But what the heck, I am anything but practical.


So I just clicked the Nikon D80 below (http://www.shopwiki.com/search/Nikon+D80) the Prosumer SLRs option to the right and it brought me to this window which allows me to choose what store offers the cheapest cost, rebates or free shipping package, etc. Now, how cool is that?


A quick flip through the list and I immediately found what I want. At about $720 and factoring in the exchange rate at P50.00 against the greenback, I still get to save a few thousand bucks if I purchase a kit here with a price range of not less than P40K.


And it's brand new! Unlike if I bid online for second-hand DLSRs. Born of the previous generation with horrible attention span, it takes a lot to sustain my interest. But the simple layout, minimal ads, and hassle-free steps make this site perfect for the technology-challenged like me. I've never tried shopping online before because I thought it was for sissies but I think this is as good a time as any to get in touch with my feminine side.


G.C. for sale

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Written on 7:43 PM by isko b. doo

The long Yuletide holiday brings mixed feelings. On one hand, it gives me the chance to rest from my killer schedule; on the other hand, I expect my purse to be a lot thinner in January.

You see, my main job doesn't pay much (though I have no right to complain because I knew what was I getting into coming in) so to compensate, I moonlight as a writer for national company or take any other assignments that could net me at least an extra P1,000 a month. My only condition is the task wouldn't compromise my integrity and that of my office.

As luck would have it, Fridays and Mondays in the last weeks of December were sandwiched between legal holidays and the result was almost two weeks of no extra work for me. Just showed how the President's holiday economics sucked big time. A miraculous event occurred for us in December, much more remarkable than the Roman Catholic's Nativity: we were given our 14th month this year. Even now, I still am not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. I couldn't but feel that an incredible episode portents disaster.

I would have loved to save some of my money for next year but there's no chance of that now. Spent most of it on gifts, the holiday bug got me and I ended up spending money I do not have on gifts and treats for family, loved ones and friends. What's new, right? I'm one of those people who could not save money to save my life. And so here we are, two days before the new year and I'm already broke.

All I have left are the free gift certificates given to me by friends and acquaintances. So if we're going by the tradition of creating your luck through symbolisms (polka dots, round fruits), next year would be a bad year for me: Just how do you survive on gift certificates?

While we're at it, anybody wanna buy one?

piktyur

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Written on 6:37 PM by isko b. doo


I love the people at the office because they are plain crazy. I guess that's the only consolation I get for sticking with my job since the money I make could certainly not coax even a hungry rat out of its hole.

Consider the latest stunt we pulled. This year's picture-taking was quite a departure from our yearly tradition (started three years ago) of posing for a group photo (in color-themed shirts) which will then be tacked inside the office. This year, Halloween came a bit late as we pulled out all stops to dress as movie/Anime characters.

The days before the event itself were nerve-wracking. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that some of us lost sleep over what character to choose. I was lucky enough that my character chose me after hearing enough comments about my resemblance to Bruce Lee so it was a good time as any to put that to the test. Besides, I thought I won't have to spend much because just how much a Kung-fu get-up cost; not a lot, right?

(Actually, it did).

Good thing there was a midnight sale at one of the malls here, it gave us time at least to do some last minute shopping. And the photo above was the result.

Stupid is what a stupid does

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Written on 6:15 PM by isko b. doo

I just gotta get this off my chest.

Before going to the meat of the story, however, let me provide a bit of background to better appreciate the gravity of the faux pas.

Last December 7, there was a shootout between a cop and a known toughie (with a name like Allan Tirador, you have to be) in one of the downtown communities. The cop was called around 10 in the evening to check out a report about the ruffian throwing his weight around while his .45 caliber pistol was visibly tucked at the waist.

The cop had a beef with his neighbor about an earlier incident where the troublemaker allegedly pointed a gun at his father. So he left his house and found the suspect, who appeared to be intoxicated, at the back of the barangay hall. Upon seeing the cop approached, the suspect drew his gun and fired at the cop wounding his right hand. The cop sought cover and Allan fired two more times at his direction. The cop fired back and hit the suspect on the stomach, apparently a graze wound or so hospital records later revealed.

In the volley of bullets, a civilian caught one bullet at his lower back and was brought to the hospital. He was just strumming his guitar and jamming with his friends in one of the sari-sari stores when the incident occurred.

That’s the official police report.

There’s another version however, the suspect’s own.

According to him, the policeman opened fire first, prompting him to defend himself. I have no way of verifying the information of why he was carrying a gun in the first place. Anyway, claiming to fear for his life, he sought assistance from the TV reporter, who obliged by bringing him to the government hospital. Sure, that’s understandable but here’s the thing: possessing wisdom, experience and foresight unmatched in the history of local journalism, the guy picked up the bullets, wrapped them in paper, and brought them to the police precinct himself.

Now, that’s what I call initiative.

Pop quiz hotshot: what do you call a police evidence handled by a civilian? Worth shit.

I believe the legal terminology would be tampering with evidence or obstruction of justice. Take your pick.

And since they are contaminated, any self-respecting judge will never accept the bullets as evidence now to pin down the suspect, who only needs to get rid of the gun and he’s scot-free. Where’s the suspect, you ask? After getting first aid, he flew the coop.

Policemen will not file a case against the reporter, with the misplaced notion that the whole media industry will come bearing down on them once the shit hits the fan. And the reporter? Just saw his stupid mug this morning, smirking.

Congrats asshole, you just brought me back from the dead.