Stupid is what a stupid does


Written on 6:15 PM by isko b. doo

I just gotta get this off my chest.

Before going to the meat of the story, however, let me provide a bit of background to better appreciate the gravity of the faux pas.

Last December 7, there was a shootout between a cop and a known toughie (with a name like Allan Tirador, you have to be) in one of the downtown communities. The cop was called around 10 in the evening to check out a report about the ruffian throwing his weight around while his .45 caliber pistol was visibly tucked at the waist.

The cop had a beef with his neighbor about an earlier incident where the troublemaker allegedly pointed a gun at his father. So he left his house and found the suspect, who appeared to be intoxicated, at the back of the barangay hall. Upon seeing the cop approached, the suspect drew his gun and fired at the cop wounding his right hand. The cop sought cover and Allan fired two more times at his direction. The cop fired back and hit the suspect on the stomach, apparently a graze wound or so hospital records later revealed.

In the volley of bullets, a civilian caught one bullet at his lower back and was brought to the hospital. He was just strumming his guitar and jamming with his friends in one of the sari-sari stores when the incident occurred.

That’s the official police report.

There’s another version however, the suspect’s own.

According to him, the policeman opened fire first, prompting him to defend himself. I have no way of verifying the information of why he was carrying a gun in the first place. Anyway, claiming to fear for his life, he sought assistance from the TV reporter, who obliged by bringing him to the government hospital. Sure, that’s understandable but here’s the thing: possessing wisdom, experience and foresight unmatched in the history of local journalism, the guy picked up the bullets, wrapped them in paper, and brought them to the police precinct himself.

Now, that’s what I call initiative.

Pop quiz hotshot: what do you call a police evidence handled by a civilian? Worth shit.

I believe the legal terminology would be tampering with evidence or obstruction of justice. Take your pick.

And since they are contaminated, any self-respecting judge will never accept the bullets as evidence now to pin down the suspect, who only needs to get rid of the gun and he’s scot-free. Where’s the suspect, you ask? After getting first aid, he flew the coop.

Policemen will not file a case against the reporter, with the misplaced notion that the whole media industry will come bearing down on them once the shit hits the fan. And the reporter? Just saw his stupid mug this morning, smirking.

Congrats asshole, you just brought me back from the dead.

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