It's not global warming, it's hell

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Written on 12:11 PM by isko b. doo

Arrgggh! It's HOOOOOTTT!

I haven't seen hot like this since I was back in high school and I wore those blue stretchable pants which hugged my thigh until before the ankle, a blue denim jacket, a punk midriff shirt, white robertsons shoes and extra-thick yellow cotton socks (that kssss-ing you hear is me smokin' hot, Woohoo!).

I couldn't think, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stay outside in the heat for more than 10 minutes without developing a headache, I couldn't stay outside, period. Hell, I couldn't even sweat. My perspiration just sort of fizzles, evaporating into gaseous state before it can liquify. You go outside and there's just the sun, hammering down on you. On extra hot days, I swear I could hear the sound of its rays pounding on me.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

There must be something to this global warming thing. I read somewhere that the earth's temperature rose two degrees over the last decade compared to just two degrees from the 1900 to 1990. Two degrees might seem diminutive but considering the sun's core has temperature levels reaching 13,600,000 degress Kelvin, two degrees of that is like, ah...um... Okay! I don't do math. So sue me. It's scorching though, I know that much.

This heat is kinda bumming me out. Imagine, I have to take a shower now twice a day. Twice! whereas before I take a shower twice a week. Hey, we have one of the best waters in the world, no sense wasting it on something as immaterial as taking a bath, Hehehe.

Haahaay... got to get to work again. I already took a shower, buttered my armpits with a deodorant and splash on a little cologne. Why do I even bother when 10 minutes after I walk out that door I'd be smelling like a wet dog bitchin' in the heat.

And there would be the sun waiting for me, a hammer in hand and a smirk on its face.

I know. It's clobbering time.




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3 Comments

  1. jayclops |

    It's because the sun is dying. That Sunshine movie is prophetic of the 'dark days to come'. Bwahahaha. And I haven't even seen it yet.

     
  2. Cheska |

    maybe, it's because it IS summer now...=)

     
  3. isko b. doo |

    No, that's not it cheska. I've seen a hundred summers (well, okay I'm exaggerating), but nothing like this.

    @jayclops

    yeah, maybe jay. Ingon nila mga 100,000 years na lang daw ang lifespan sa sun. so basi padulong na siya supernova stage so mao na init na kau. Mas komplikado pa kay sa greenhouse effect ba. hehehe.

     

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